Wednesday, May 25th, 1983. 30 years ago, Return of the Jedi hit the screens like a wave. It's probably not a stretch to say this was one of the most anticipated sequels ever made. Those of us who remember seeing it for the first time on the big screen, we were left with a very down ending from The Empire Strikes Back. The Empire was roaring back, the Rebellion was on its heels, Han Solo was taken away by Boba Fett to Jabba the Hutt, and Darth Vader was revealed to Luke Skywalker that he was his father. So much was riding on this movie. I still remember sitting in the movie theater with my brother at a 1 AM show on Friday May 27th. My brother (to my eternal shame) had already seen it before he had come home from college. And now he was taking me to see it. I was 13, but already traumatized that my hero, Han Solo, may be dead. I couldn't wait to see what would happen. By the film's end, I was elated more than I had every been in a film since I saw the original Star Wars for the first time. Now it is 30 years, one restoration and three new versions (The Special Edition, DVD Edition and Blu-Ray Edition) later and I am about to betray all of my childhood fandom by really taking this film to task. I will be considering the newest version, the Blu-Ray version just released last year for this review as it is now the official canon in the Star Wars mythos.
So before I start slamming the film, let's examine what is right with it. First and foremost, it is a very satisfying ending to a great set of films. The good guys win, the bad guys lose, key bad guy is redeemed and they all live happily ever after. Like a fine wine, it goes down smooth, leaves a warm feeling in your gut and is very satisfying. The story of redemption, of a son helping his father from the darkness back into the light is very iconic and never gets old. For me personally, I like the fact that Luke finally grows up in the film as well. In Star Wars and Empire, he is a whiny little brat through much of the films, headstrong and stupid, but in the end wants to do the right thing. But in Jedi, he is finally a real warrior. He is tough and not to be trifled with. This is what I expect a Jedi to be. Also, I like the resolution of Han and Leia's relationship, although Luke and Leia's brother/sister thing raises some troubling issues in previous flicks. From a technical standpoint, the ending is great. It keeps three very taut, tense storylines moving at a brisk pace, each as interesting as the other. It is well paced and well edited. I applaud the fact that Lucas did not try to make Yoda a CGI character in this one, but rather kept him "real," that is to say, the practical puppet effect. Because Hamill is interacting with something that is actually there and that the puppet moves things, it makes the overall effect more real and believable. This is very important if we are to accept a small, green thing is really there. Most of the digital cleanups n the newest version really do make the movie look better. This is subtle, but was something that always bothered me, especially in Jedi. When you see old digital composites, you can see the black line where the fake object ends (in this case, the rancor in Jabba's palace) and the real scene begins. It looks almost like a sandwich. The special effects guys did a great job in erasing these lines so that the scene blends well. The rancor looks like it is there. Very well done.
Now, that said, there is a LOT wrong with the film as well. Jedi is the beginning of the end when it comes to quality in the Star Wars franchise. To start, there are a LOT of inconsistencies in the plot, both within the context of the first three movies, and then later with the other three crapola prequels. I will not list an exhaustive account, but here are a few more of the glaring ones:
1. The deaths of Obi Wan, Yoda, the Emperor and Vader: So, every Jedi that dies disappears, leaving nothing behind but the clothes they wore. As Yoda said in Empire, "Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter." So why doesn't Vader disappear? We see Luke give him this Viking funeral at the end, burning him on top of a bier with his old armor. We can clearly see there s a body there. Now, while the armored chest plate and helmet will hold their shapes, Vader also wore just plain clothes which wouldn't hold their shape if there was not a body inside. It's a neat shot, but inconsistent. Also, how come Vader gets an age makeover at the end? Whenever we have seen one of the spirits of the Jedi, they always appear as they were when they died. Obi Wan is old, Yoda is old. In the original version, Vader was old. But with the prequels, we now have a better known actor who played Anakin, so Sebastian Shaw is out and Hayden Christensen is in. Unfortunately for Ewan MacGregor, he is not as cool or famous as Alec Guiness, so Obi Wan remains old.
2. The nature of the Force: First, and most irritating, we find the Force in the prequels is NOT a mystical force, but rather anyone with midichlorians in their blood can manipulate the very bonds of the universe, both physically and mystically. So Force sensitivity is a genetic thing, passed through bloodlines. In the prequels, the Jedi Council identifies young people who are strong with the Force, tell the parents and then spirit the children away like some ogre in the night to train them at the Jedi Academy. They teach the children not to have any ties stronger than that of the Force or those ties can be used to seduce them to the Dark Side. Any tie, but especially romantic and familial ones. Now, in Empire and Jedi, Yoda tells Luke the Force runs strong in his family and for him to pass on what he learned. But if Luke is not to have children, how is he supposed to pass on these bloodlines? In the greater scheme of things, if the Jedi Council kept separating gene pools, how were these midichlorians reproduced over time? Wouldn't the gene pool of Force sensitives keep shrinking over the millennia the Jedi were said to have existed? I realize the galaxy is a big place, but sooner or later, if you keep isolating bloodlines, traits will disappear. So my question stands, how do Jedi Knights reproduce and keep the Force sensitives coming generation after generation? Therefore, according to the prequels, the Jedi are hastening their own extinction. Or are there some officially sanctioned concubines for the Jedi meant solely for reproduction? Yoda makes no mention of any of this to Luke. In fact, he says the exact opposite. So was Yoda lying, or is there an emergency plan to repopulate the Jedi if their numbers get too low? Now this is not nickpicking. This is fundamental to the story. It turns everything upside down. Next, is the Dark Side stronger? Yoda is very emphatic on this point that it isn't when Luke asks during his training. Yet in the prequels, we see two Jedi Masters (Yoda and Mace) discussing privately that there are ONLY two Siths at any one time, a Master and Apprentice. On the other side, we have THOUSANDS of Light Side Jedi (Padawans, Knights and Masters). Yet TWO, count them, TWO Sith took down the entire Jedi Order, and were able to keep their Sith presence hidden from them, even in the Jedi's actual presence. We see Jedi Masters, Council Masters mind you, meet with the most powerful Sith Lord face-to-face on several occasions, and none of them know who he is. Yet Vader can feel Luke's presence from miles away. Sith can raise people from the dead, can shoot lightning, AND do everything else the Jedi do. And wipe them out with one Master and one newly-minted apprentice. HOW is the Dark Side not more powerful than the Light? Or was Yoda lying about this, too?
3. The Combat Effectiveness of the Empire: Now, while those at the top of the Empire seem very capable, what is going on with the rank and file? Even Obi Wan says that Imperial stormtroopers are very precise marksmen. As many have joked over the years, this does not really hold up to scrutiny. The new philosophical quandary is who would win in a fight: Stormtroopers or Red-Shirted Ensigns from Star Trek? Stormtroopers can't hit anything they shoot at while red-shirted ensigns always die no matter what. But Jedi takes this to an insulting level. When the Emperor is discussing Luke's plight in his monologing, he mentions "An entire LEGION of my best troops awaits [the rebels on Endor]!" The way the Emperor describes them, the final battle should have elapsed like a fully equipped battalion of Navy Seals fighting a bunch of Boy Scouts with pocket knives. Yet the Ewoks manage to prevail in a pitched battle using spears and arrows against fully trained, battle-hardened troops using lasers and wearing armor (which apparently does nothing to stop anything). The Empire not only loses, it loses big. Now I realize that Lucas was trying to say you don't have to always be the biggest to win, but this is ridiculous.
4. Nitpicking: Okay, those were some of the more glaring inconsistencies. Here are some geeky, nitpicking smaller ones. 3PO in Star Wars mentions that he is "...merely an interpreter, and not very good at telling stories. At least not making them interesting, anyway" when Luke asks him if he and Artoo were in any battles. Yet in Jedi, he is relating to the Ewoks the entire backstory to this point, complete with sound effects to the Ewoks. He is including descriptions of battles, technology, etc. Now Artoo may have been doing the sound effects (it's not clear), but 3PO is obviously relating a history here. So was he lying to Luke (which droids cannot do), or did he just not feel like telling Luke his story? Next, Lucas paraphrased Paul Velery once by saying "Movies are never finished, only abandoned." But he is breaking his own rule. He makes some very dumb fixes to conversation that make the movies just a little less clever in their repartee. The most glaring is at the end of Jedi when Vader sees the Emperor killing his son and utters NO! twice and then throws the Emperor down the shaft to his death. In the original version, this inner conflict is more than obvious (I understood it at 13) when Vader keeps looking back and forth to Luke on the ground pleading for his life and the Emperor continuing the attack to kill Luke. When Vader chooses to kill the Emperor, then, it is VERY dramatic. With these added nos, it cheapens the impact of Vader's decision and makes the scene much less satisfying. The other annoyance for me is when Han is about to shoot the tentacle off Lando's leg from the Sarlaac on Tatooine. He originally says "It's all right, trust me" when he is pointing the gun at Lando. A very funny, in-character moment. But in the new version, he says, "It's all right. I can see a lot better." [I throw my hands up in disgust and frustration. there is nothing else to say.] Also, why does Vader revert to King James English when he is speaking to the Emperor? Thees and thys. I don't get it.
Okay, so much for inconsistencies. Let's look at a few more issues with the movie. First, from a structural point of view, the movie doesn't make a lot of sense. It is actually two movies, not a cohesive 3-act whole. It is the story to save Han and then the story to kill the Empire. It feels like it was thrown together at the last minute. Now that we have the incredibly awful, George Lucas-penned stories of the newprequels, we can finally clear co-screenwriter Lawrence Kasden's name from shame and eternal damnation for maligning such a great story. The blame lies entirely at Lucas' feet. I actually feel that the ONLY reason why this movie isn't an entire waste is because of Kasden's script doctoring, which Lucas continues to degrade with each new tinkering of the film. Lucas seems determined to make this movie suck as much as possible by tweaking good pieces out, one at a time. [Advertisement-Check out Red Letter Media's fantastic deconstruction of the prequels and original trilogy on You Tube. It is hilarious and inciteful. I have never laughed harder.] The movie is a collection of hackneyed events and dumb jokes. There are two, count them, TWO belch jokes. One of which adds even more to the ignominious end of Boba Fett, the coolest character next to Solo, when he falls in the Sarlacc's mouth. Chewie and company are caught in a snare with raw meat. 3PO is a god?!? Chewie becomes Tarzan, complete with Tarzan roar? Oh, so much dumbness! I can actually feel my IQ going down.
Next, the rebels are, tactically, one of the stupidest organizations in the galaxy. It is a wonder they were not killed by the Empire before this. The final battle of Endor is looming. The rebel planners realize they have a shot to knock out not only the new Death Star, but also the Emperor himself. Yet they commit ALL their resources, including all their leadership and capital ships to the final assault? Did the planners not once consider this may be a trap or consider the sagacity of putting all your eggs in one basket? They are the luckiest doofuses ever to trip through a battle to win.
The languages seem to have dumbed down, as well. 3PO keeps bragging that he is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but the only real languages he ever has to translate is Artoo (Beep, bip, boop) and Ewokese (Yub! Yub!) Otherwise, a sampling of the other languages includes saying "oa" or elongating every vowel at the end of a word ("Artoo Day Toa. Bo Say Thray Pay-oa") or Bossh's language which seems to consist of two syllables. Thus, "I want fifty thousand, no less" becomes "Yo toe. Yo toe." It must be in the inflection.
A technical issue with the effects. While the effects team cleaned up the rancor very well, the speeder bike chase shows its age. This is an area where some digital manipulation might have been called for. First, the superimposed images of the riders and bikes is very different from the background plate, so they almost look like washed-out ghosts in places. They could have used some color fixes. Also, since this was superimposed on a background, there is not actual interaction with the background. As the bike whiz by hundreds of miles per hour, you never see grass or branches being disturbed. A few digitally inserted moving pieces of foliage would have helped the scene immensely and made the interaction between principles and background so much more convincing. However, it is still exciting.
Muppets! Lucas valiantly has maintained over the years that the Ewoks were supposed to be Wookies, like Chewbacca, but they didn't have enough money to film them. So therefore, he made them cute, kid-marketing friendly, little teddy bears. So what could have been intimidating opponents as seven-foot tall wookies, can now be sold as cute teddy bears as three-foot Ewoks. But are we really to believe that there was not enough money? This movie was literally the sequel to two of the highest-grossing movies, EVER, at the time. Not one, but TWO of the highest grossing films. Are we really to believe that the studio would not have ponied up a few extra million to make this, or was the marketing whore taking over, hmmmm? This is indicative where the artistic flame was extinguished to feed the commercial beast, and quality began to leave the Star Wars universe forever. One can only hope with the upcoming trilogy under the helm of JJ Abrams, that the new films will be better and we fans will not be treated to the same humiliation of being force-fed crap while we see our childhood memories being systematically ravaged by a money-mad doofus at the helm as we did with the Prequels. Disney, please, for the love of God and man, PLEASE do not let Lucas write these next films or be anywhere near them. JJ has made it clear both in his time with your company and after that he can deliver quality product. Please let him make the films as he sees fit. My prayer to the dying.
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