47 Ronin

1.5 Stars (out of four)

Okay.  In the interest of full disclosure, it has long been my opinion that Keanu Reeves has been the near-fatal element to every movie in which he has starred.  Don't believe me?  Judge by the evidence: Bram Stoker's Dracula, The Matrix (all three), The Day The Earth Stood Still, Speed, The Devil's Advocate, Something's Gotta Give...the list goes on and on.  All potentially great movies that are sabotaged by his dazed expression and dull personality.  Karma must be real because outside of his good looks, there is no conceivable reason why this guy should be in any film where he doesn't play a dazed and dull individual (Parenthood, Bill and Ted's, Point Break).  This guy has hit the sweet spot between the genetic lottery and karmic destiny, because he has been in (and almost ruined) an incredible amount of great flicks.  As a testament to their greatness, they are good despite him (see aforementioned list).  That said, I can honestly say 47 Ronin is neither great with or without him.  It is just...there.

The plot, such as it is, is easily summed up.  Our man Keanu plays Kai, a half-breed raised by demons from childhood in ancient Japan who teach him to fight.  He is adopted by the Asano clan who at first try to kill him.  By being a half-breed and being raised by demons, this essentially makes Kai the red-headed stepchild of the Asano clan.  He is an outcast in Japan's intolerant society and is treated with at the very least, with contempt.  He brings shame to the clan when, during a tournament before the shogun, the Asano clan's champion is bewitched just before he is to fight the warring Kira clan's champion and cannot fight.  Kai puts on the armor and fights instead until the deception is revealed.  Kai is then horrifically beaten.  That same night, the witch working for the Kira clan bewitches the Asano clan's master who attempts to kill Lord Kira while he is a guest.  Kai's master is forced to commit seppuku, ritual suicide, and all the Asano clan's samurai become ronin, disgraced and outcasts.  The rest of the movie is the 47 ronin taking back their master's honor by exacting vengeance on the Kira clan.  At the end, they are also forced to commit seppuku.  The end.

Now, why Universal decided to open a movie in Japan depicting one of their most cherished legends done with an American actor in the lead, with all the actors speaking English, and a story that resembles the original in name only, and expect a hit is beyond me.  That would be like the Japanese making a story about Pearl Harbor depicting the heroism of their pilots against the barbaric Americans and expecting it to be a hit in America.  It was a flop there.  This should have been Universal's first clue to how bad the movie is.  The problem with this movie is that it is not really exciting (I found myself dozing in parts), and that it is a by-the-numbers actioneer with no real inspiration.  Keanu, for once, cannot be held responsible for damaging this film.  It was damaged right out of the gate.  That said, there are some incredible visuals that really do dazzle.  All in all, it is a substandard action flick that you should see only if there is nothing else to see.  And unfortunately for 47 Ronin, there is a lot of good stuff out there right now.