Sharks being sucked up in tornadoes terrorize LA. Need I say more?
Okay, I hotly debated with myself whether I should review this big, steaming turd. (If that doesn't let you know how I feel about it, I don't know what will.). I ultimately decided to do it to get something off my chest that needed saying. There are some bad movies because of unfortunate circumstances or bad decisions like Waterworld, Heaven's Gate or Xanadu. There are bad films because they just don't communicate or translate well, such as any Bruce Lee movie, The Song Remains The Same, Zardoz or Eyes Wide Shut. There are other bad films because, frankly, the creators are to up to the task because they really are talentless, clueless hacks like Plan 9 From Outer Space, Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS (or any Ilsa movie for that matter), Kiss Meets The Phantom of the Park or Superfuzz. Or there are movies that are just genuinely bad where there is absolutely nothing good to say about them like Life Is Beautiful, Ishtar, Showgirls, or any Godzilla film except the first one. But the worst kind of bad movie, one deserving of execution for all those involved, is one that sets out to be bad like Movie 43, Snakes On A Plane, Angel's Revenge, The Toxic Avenger and now...Sharknado.
The usual explanation/excuse is that "We're doing a send-up of whatever genre." But that is full of sh&t because other, good movies have done that same thing, such as Scream, Attack of the Killer Tomatos, Tremors, Deep Blue Sea, The Expendables, Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail, This Is Spinal Tap, Airplane!, oh I could go on and on. When the filmmakers deliberately set out to make a bad film, it says a couple of negative things about their attitudes, and we, the audience, should be really pissed about this. First, many times, they are cynically trying to manufacture a cult film, the same way record producers try to make Justin Bieber a powerhouse talent. It is artificial and reeks of disdain for the audience as they are trying to cobble together elements they think that sell in order to get your money. There are two mistakes in this thinking. You can't deliberately make a cult film. Cult films find their audiences usually for totally unexpected reasons that can't be quantified in any way. The tragedy to this thinking is that a good, original movie could have been made for that money. Thus, we get the double whammie of being stuck with a piece of crap combined with being denied what could be the next Matrix, Halloween, Duel, Mean Streets or Nightwatch.
It also demonstrates an arrogance and disdain towards the audience that says, "Yeah, we know it's crap, but we know you're going to pay to see it anyway because you, the audience, are stupid enough go pay for anything with a pretty person in it. Unfortunately, maybe because people do precisely that, not only do these films get made, they breed sequels and even worse copies. Troma Films and porn companies have made a small empire on these types of films. At least porno delivers on one promise, it gives you sex. Sharknado is an example of all of these things. Subpar visual effects, stilted or bad acting from some people who can act, an incomprehensible bad storyline, totally dues ex machina plot twists and humorless jokes. And it has bred a sequel: Sharknado 2: The Second One. Don't support this crap. Only by your non-participation will these films stop being made. Do it, if not for yourselves, than...sniff!...for the children.
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